Naruto and the Dark Knuckle Society
by plok
Summary: Naruto is a great powerful warrior, but there is secret conclave of assassins who color their knuckles with black crayons and want to kidnap him. Who are they? What threat do they pose to the landmass of Konoha? Can Naruto stop them? Even I don't know
1. Chapter 1

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. Naruto was too much for him. The fight had lasted only five minutes but already Sasuke was winded. His moves were useless. Naruto's shadow clones were wearing him down. He had to do something drastic. The Chidori was his only hope. With his remaining energy he focused all his chakra into his hand. This was an assassination move; the most powerful technique he knew, taught to him by Kakashi sensei many centuries ago so that he could defeat his great enemy Sir Francis Bacon. He did not want to hurt Naruto, but he was left with no choice. This was a matter of pride. He would rather kill Naruto than lose. Blue chakra was sparking from his hand like a ruptured power line. He felt unstoppable. His muscles tensed and then he charged forward. He cut a line straight through the shadow clones, killing every one he could reach. With his sharingan eyes he could pick out the real Naruto. He drew back his arm and prepared to impale Naruto in the face with the Chidori. Sasuke shouted "You're finished!"

"Rasengan!!!!!"

Oh no! thought Sasuke. Oh no!!! Not the Rasengan!

The Rasengan was the deadliest move in Naruto's arsenal, and it was even better than the Chidori. Naruto learned it from Jiraiya. After much training it became the most destructive force in the entire galaxy. It could not be countered, not even by The Green Lantern.

With no chance of getting out of the way, a gigantic red ball of scintillating doom hit Sasuke like an atomic bomb. He let out a high pitched scream. His brain barely even had time to comprehend how dead he was before his body turned to ashes and melted into the ground.

Naruto was standing in his orange jump suit, legs bent and quivering. He felt like he was going to fall over so he sat down to gather his strength. It was as if the beaver dam in his chakra network had been destroyed by sea otters. It was like this when he killed Haku too. He hadn't regretted that though. He did not want to carbonize Sasuke, but he had no other response to the Chidori. The only way for him to survive was to crush him. Naruto cried a little bit then went home and ate Ramen noodles. It wasn't even noon yet and he had already sent his best friend to the grave. What more could possibly happen on this day he wondered?

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"Sasuke Uchiha?"

"Sasuke Uchiha?"

It was still morning and Naruto was sitting in class while Iruka sensei took attendance.

"Naruto, Sasuke is in your group. Why is he not in class today? Where is he?"  
"Iruka sensei, I don't know! I bet he's off training on his own."

"Hmm… well, if Sasuke thinks he has nothing to learn from me then perhaps I'll just take him off the class roster. When you see him again Naruto, make sure you tell him to be here if he wants to have any hope of becoming a Chunin."

"Yes Iruka!"

Iruka sighed. "Well, at least you have come. You are such a responsible, gifted student Naruto. It is good that someone as talented as you shows so much respect for his education, unlike Sasuke. Perhaps one day you will become strong enough that you can usurp the throne and assume your rightful place as dictator of this land. Then you can finally end the oppression of the American people."

Naruto smiled and nodded in agreement.

Halfway through the lesson Naruto started dozing off. He didn't understand anything Iruka was saying and didn't care anyways. Before long Naruto was fast asleep.

(dream sequence)  
"Hokage sir, we've deployed every jounin in our ranks, but nothing can stop him! What else is there to do?"

The Third Hokage got up from behind his desk and began pacing the stone floor. His robes were off. In there place was his battle armor. The messenger could see a little piece of his old man nipples through a slit in the padding.

"It is time then for me to meet the threat head on. The only way this will end is either with my death or his. It is pointless to continue throwing away soldier's lives. Konoha does not need a second Vietnam."

"I agree sir, but is this really the best course of action? If you die who will lead the people?"

"Well, I imagine Naruto will. Who will be able to stop him?"  
(/dream sequence)

"Wake up Naruto!"

Naruto grumbled as he was wrested from his sweet revery. He opened his eyes and saw Sakura's face.

"What do you want?"

Class wasn't over yet. Iruka was going over the preliminaries of the clone jutsu with the genin.

Sakura looked worried.

"Naruto, where is Sasuke really?"  
Naruto shifted around uncomfortably in his seat. He knew Sakura would be heart broken if he told her that he had killed him this morning. Sakura had a very deep affection for Sasuke. They had even mated several times at Kakashi's whorehouse in the woods. He tried to be as tactful as possible.

"He's dead."

Sakura stared at him open mouthed.

"I'm sorry Sakura. I really am."

"I don't believe you. How? It's not possible!"

Sakura was going into a hot sweat. Her hands were cold and perspiring.

"I don't know. It just kind of happened. We were fighting today, Sasuke used the Chidori, and I used the Rasengan…and then…..KABLAM!!!" Naruto made an imaginary mushroom cloud with his fingertips.

"You used the Rasengan!? What is wrong with you!? You know Sasuke doesn't stand a chance against you when you go all out!"

Looking at the ground, Naruto guiltily retorted "I know I know, but I had no choice. It was either him or me Sakura! There was no other way."

Sakura put her head in her hands and started sobbing uncontrollably. Iruka saw her and walked over. Putting his hand gently on her back, he leaned up to close to her ear and whispered her name a few times, "Sakura…Sakura…." When he finally got her attention he punched a hole through her desk and violently shouted, "STOP INTERRUPTING MY CLONE JUTSU LESSON!!!"

Sakura bolted up like an erection, tears running down her cheeks, and sprinted for the door.

Iruka looked at Naruto.

"I think you better follow her."

to be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura was running so fast she didn't care about anything. She was super mad at Naruto for killing Sasuke. 'I hate that little road possum!" she said to herself. Since she was running so fast she wasn't even paying attention to where she was going and before she knew it she was at the edge of the woods. She stared into its depths and was frightened by the great mystery of the trees and the shrubbery. Suddenly an owl flew by and shot a fireball into the sun and blew it up. It was such a beautiful sight thought Sakura, seeing nature in motion like that. Then with a tremulous step she entered the forest of the Hidden Leaf Village.

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As soon as Naruto left the classroom he knew that he had little time. He had to find Sakura. She was going to do something dangerous. The last time she got this upset she almost sent a guy to the hospital. It was that bad. So Naruto really had to hurry like Speedy Gonzales.

It wasn't long into his search before he realized he wasn't getting anywhere. He decided he needed a new strategy, so he went back to his headquarters to devise a plan. Naruto got out all his psychology books. He wanted to understand the way the mind of pink haired girls worked, so that he could predict what she was going to do. It took him hours of reading through all the famous books about pink haired girls by people like Sylvia Browne and Freud, but finally he put everything they were saying together and deduced that when pink haired girls are in distress because their friend has been killed by another friend in a fight they typically run to the woods outside of the Hidden Leaf Village in Konoha. Armed with this knowledge Naruto left his home and began the long journey to the woods.

Naruto got to the woods. It was a dark woods. Dark because it was night time, and woods because it had trees. Naruto yelled Sakura's name really loud like a foghorn. Then he went into the woods. Insects were crawling all over the ground and into Naruto's pants. It was disgusting, but Naruto pressed on. He felt unsafe here. Any minute a wild animal could jump from the blackness and kill him without remorse . He couldn't believe he was risking his life like this for Sakura. She better be thankful he thought.

Naruto had been wandering for a couple hours when he heard a scream accompanied by frantic rustling. He followed the direction that the sound waves were being projected from. It was so dark he wouldn't have been able to see anything even if he had night vision goggles on. Naruto thought this must be how Matt Murdock felt after he got blinded in a chemical spill. As he closed in on the source of the noise he started sweating. What if it's a grizzly bear and it's killing Sakura he thought? Or maybe a pack of hyenas? But Naruto knew he couldn't doubt himself. He had to have confidence in his powers and his Rasengan to kill all his enemies. However, even Naruto could not have been prepared for what was to come.


	3. Chapter 3

The darkness was so bright it hurt Naruto's corneas. It was as if Cortez from Timesplitters 2 was firing that red laser beam gun into his eyes. He pushed aside a redwood tree with his hand and moved into the clearing where the noise had come from. There were many splatters of blood, as if someone had been bleeding. Naruto got out his gel electrophoresis kit and performed DNA testing to identify whose vital fluid it was. After adding the buffer solution he waited for the mixture to separate into bands. Looking at them, he could see that they matched the samples of Sakura's DNA he had in his secret laboratory. Naruto investigated the crime scene a little bit more to see if there was anything else important there. What he found was a slightly worn black Crayola crayon. He could tell by the wear on the paper and its tip that the person who had used it was about six feet tall, one hundred eighty pounds, and was highly skilled with the Kunai knife. Seeing nothing else of significance Naruto decided to rest his mind, which was fatigued from much work and stress.

----------------

(From an unknown locale)

"We have captured the traitor sir, as you ordered. We found him loitering around in the Hidden Leaf Village fish market, trying to swindle the goods of the great harvesters of the sea."

"Yes, the fishermen. Anyone who is an enemy of the fishermen is an enemy of me," said a mysterious and powerful voice from a shadowy corner of the room.

"However," it continued, "that is not what you have been brought him here for. He knows what he has done and what the punishment for a Quisling is. Now it is time for the hand of justice to dig its arthritic fingers into his throat."

A black knuckled hand with really long fingernails extended from the shadows and reached towards the man's neck. It caressed his Adam's apple slowly at first, and then with increasing vigor, shaving the skin off like a cheese grater. Redness began forming there as the man let out a scream garbled by the constant irritation on his Adam's apple.

"AGHHHHAAGARBLeGAAHHHHHHGHBFFLAAA!!!" he yelled in misery.

The other ninjas in the room turned away in horror. When they looked back all that remained was a decrepit corpse with a rash on its throat.

The hand ominously withdrew back into the shadows, accompanied by evil laughter.

--------------------

When Naruto awoke he found out that wolves had broken into his ruck sack while he slept and eaten all his rice balls. He was starving and had no where to turn for food. He couldn't slay the animals or forage because he was in a wildlife sanctuary. Then he remembered the whorehouse Kakashi had established in these woods many years ago so that the women of Konoha could have something to do. He could dine there he thought. Perhaps Kakashi could even help him in deciphering the significance of the black crayon he found. He knew it wasn't Sakura's, because she didn't have any coloring books to use it on. It must be owned by the people she was fighting with he concluded, but why would they have crayons? Naruto shrugged it off and put his hands into his pockets. When his was finished with that he began his trek to the whorehouse….


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto had never seen so many fine ass women before. "Oh my God" he thought as he sweated nervously. He had come searching for information from Konoha's leading whore entrepreneur Kakashi. Instead though, Naruto could not resist repeatedly mating with the women there. He didn't even have to worry about bastard children because he hadn't hit puberty yet. When he finished he decided to get down to brass tacks, but he didn't know where he could contact Kakashi. As he passed one of the whores eating at the bistro, which Kakashi added in 1978 so that they had a place to provide good nutrients for their bodies, he asked her a question. The answer to the question was "I don't know." Naruto asked another girl the same question, but she shrugged her shoulders and bought an ice cream. It was a strawberry supreme, coated in chocolate with a variety of colored sprinkles, but not blue. Naruto was becoming angry. He decided to take a break from questioning the workers and go to the bathroom. Inside he saw a pale red haired boy with a kanji symbol on his forehead sitting in the corner . He was wearing fishnet and had eyeliner on. It was Gaara. Naruto didn't know Kakashi employed manwhores as well.

"Hey Gaara, do you know where I can find Kakashi?" Naruto asked.

"Yes."

"Cool!"

Naruto left and returned to the bar area. It was a dimly lit room; musty like an old attic, but as full of life as Walt Disney. Naruto began mingling with the denizens and got invited to numerous after hour orgies, however Naruto made an abstinence pledge to Gaara while he was in the bathroom so he had to decline. Naruto still didn't know where Kakashi was. He was about to give up hope when his cell phone began to vibrate. He took it out of his trench coat and saw that Kakashi had sent him a text message. It read: "naruto uzamaki, plz report to my office in the whorehouse k?" But Naruto still didn't know where it was! Just then a kunai knife came flying out of nowhere and hit the bartender in the face. It had a blindfold and a note attached to it that read "put this blindfold on. Only then will you see the way!!!" Naruto did as he was instructed. He felt hands press onto his shoulders and whisk him away…..


	5. Chapter 5

Kakashi's office was large and empty. He sat in the middle in his wheelchair, playing Twister with his bodyguards.

"Naruto Uzamaki," he said.

Naruto walked over to shake his hand, but Kakashi refused.

"I have to keep my hands on red" he explained. They weren't even touching the game board. "Are you going to play Naruto?"

"No. I have something important I need to ask you."

"Oh. Well, let me finish this first, then we can talk."

Naruto watched as the paraplegic ninja rolled around, trying to keep up with the other players. Technically it was impossible for him to even play the game because he couldn't actually reach the floor with any of his body parts. To compensate for this though he eventually got his workers to just lift up the plastic sheet and touch the dots to him.

When it was finally over Kakashi wheeled over to Naruto and greeted him. He was perspiring heavily.

"This is how I exercise. I use to flick the spinner too but it started to aggravate my heart condition."

Naruto nodded.

"Anyways, what is it you needed to tell me?"

"Kakashi sensei, Sakura is missing. It was in these woods where she disappeared," Naruto responded.

"I see. Do you know anything about the circumstances of her disappearance?"

"Well, I believe that she was kidnapped. It happened aft of the starboard, about fourteen leagues from here. I found this evidence at the scene." Naruto handed him the black crayon.

"OH NO! THIS IS NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!" Kakashi screamed and started spinning around in his wheel chair like a police siren. After settling down some he looked closely at the crayon.

"Do you know what this means Naruto?"

"Yes."

"There is a clan of ninjas who are outcast from society. Their leader is sometimes called Kal-El, but we know him better as Konohomaru. He was a fisherman by lineage and took much pride in continuing the work of his ancestors. One day though a ship called the Titanic crashed at the site of his family's favorite fishing spot. When this happened the Historical Society of the Hidden Leaf Village decided to open up a museum there to memorialize the victims. However, to make room for its construction they had to sanction the surrounding waters, thereby banning Konohomaru's family from fishing there. No longer having access to this, Konohomaru fell into financial ruin. His wife and children died. He had nothing to live for except for vengeance against the Historical Society of the Hidden Leaf Village."

"And you think that this Konohomaru has something to do with Sakura's kidnapping?"

"I believe so. The mark of his group of assassins is the black knuckled hand. They color it with these crayons." Kakashi gave the crayon back to Naruto.

"There is not much help a partially paralyzed jounin like myself can give you Naruto, but I do have something." He reached into his pocket and procured a set of keys and instructions. "These are the keys to my Quinjet, which I keep store out back in my missile silo. This piece of paper has instructions on it which tell you the coordinates of the last known location of Konohomaru's secret clan. Fly there. If you don't find them, perhaps you can at least gather some leads. Goodluck Naruto."

Naruto left the whorehouse with renewed hope. The forest and trees looked so pretty. Naruto was by heart a simple boy. The Huckleberry Finn of Konoha. Walking the beaten trail to the missile silo, he could not help but wonder what his adventure had in store for him. But he was not scared. He had faith in his abilities and Rasengan. He said a little prayer to Jesus and God before boarding the Quinjet and blasting off into the exosphere.


End file.
